Pantun Pengantin Baru buat Pak Lah

Pantun Pengantin Baru buat Pak Lah

Pak Lah pelopor Islam Hadhari
Tak lama lagi dapat seorang isteri
Tukang penyedap tiang seri
Combi-combi frust gigit jari
Terlepas jadi isteri Perdana Menteri
Pak Lah pilih adik-ipar bekas isteri
Semua dah berkenan kata Khairi
Spokesperson untuk Kamal dan Nori
Auntie Jeanne tidak asing bagi kami

Majlis akad nikah is for family only
If you are not invited very sorry
Just a simple akadnikah ceremony
Pak Lah don wan any dowry
If you are sending gift send them to me
I will donate to all charity body
But expensive gift can close one eye only
Expensive gift is like Porsche or Ferrari
Rolex, Patek Phillipe, Omega or Bvlgari
Small gift like Selangor Pewter or Crabtree
Ucapan tahniah boleh taruh Utusan and NST
Since UMNO owned both company

Kenapa I pilih nak kahwin lagi
Itu satu soalan peribadi
Anyway masih banyak ruang di hati
Tapi I tak kahwin lebih dua isteri
Itu you all dont worry
I bukan miang keladi
I just need a company
Since I am very lonely
And you know I am old already
Who want to take care of me
Anyway lama dah ni
You know lah mana tahan lagi
Don’t offer me any Tongkat Ali
I will go slow and steady
Honeymoon of course luar negeri
Tak main lah Pangkor or Langkawi
Naik I punya jet peribadi
Nak main aci lot with my new isteri
Itu Menteri Budaya dia sudah perli
Dia kata I akan lebih bertenaga lagi
Nanti I pecat dia jadi Hantu punya menteri
Okay lah joke only
Nothing to do yang hidup atau yang mati.

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Pantun Bocor Lagi

Bocor Lagi

Bocor teruk kata Samy
Wiring lama kata Ramli
Bangunan tua kata Nazri
Najib said it’s PWD

Semua ada alasan sendiri
But where you all spent the money?
RM90 juta untuk cantikkan lobby
So that it looks luxury

Nice decor and nice settee
But now you kena letak baldi
Bocor teruk when it rains heavily
MP yang busuk pun boleh mandi

The floor is wet and slippery
The luxury lobby now looks untidy
Inilah dia third class mentality
Luar cantik tapi dalam very shoddy

Structure work should get priority
And now whose responsibility
JKR or Parliament Committee
While you all gaduh sama sendiri

Rakyat want an answer immediately
Otherwise kita tak bagi you undi
Sebab you spent money unnecessarily
You know it is taxpayers’ money
So please spend the money wisely.

how smart is S.M.A.R.T. ?

bacalah the following joke I received from one of my friends… :p

malaysians are so ‘talented‘ when it comes to sarcasm! haha

“Anybody saw the Pak Lah paying a surprise visit to DBKL? (semi surprised actually)

wah, damn keng lah, don’t know what Jeanne had done to him on the first night,I think he’s twice the man before!

Pak Lah : Apa dah jadi ni? What’s with the smart tunnel?

DBKL : err…yang berhormat, SMART tunnel belum siap.

Pak Lah : Belum siap lagi? Kenapa belum siap?

DBKL : Sebenarnya kami nak kutip tol dulu yang berhormat, lepas
pilihanraya baru siap tunnel. Lagi pun kami salah announce, sepatutnya
kami cakap yang tunnel tu belum siap lagi tapi jalan dah boleh guna.
Mungkin kami patut jangan buka dulu, atau korek dari bawah ke atas
menggunakan…

Pak Lah : ZZZZZZZZZZ…….

DBKL : Yang berhormat?…err…yang berhormat?

Pak Lah : {suddenly wakes up) Eh, kita tang mana tadi?

DBKL : Yang berhormat tengah bambu saya pasai smart tunnel

Pak Lah : Hey, don’t play smart alex with me. Hang tu orang KL nak pi
cakap utara konon. Aku piak telinga hang karang baru tau! Can you speed it
up!??

DBKL : Err…boleh kot.. Kena beli cangkul yang mahal sikit yang berhormat.

Pak Lah : Jangan cakap saja, kena buat. Saya sudah penat dengar cakap2

DBKL : Ye yang berhormat. Bekerjalah dengan saya, jangan kerjakan saya

Pak Lah : Hangpa perli aku ka?

DBKL : Tidak yang berhormat, ini semua kuasa tuhan, hujan terlalu lebat
yang berhormat.

Pak Lah : Oh, sekarang baru ingat tuhan ye? Kang aku ubah Islam Hadhari,
sapa tak buat kerja mai sini aku potong kepala, baru hang tau!!!
Enough tok! Walk the tok now!

as a side note, lots of proton saga, 27k didn’t make it in the flood.
Screwd habis..tak leh jual, jadi scrap metal.”

Teenagers nowadays…

Teenagers are so self-centred and they have no shame.  Even the foreigners know how to rasa malu. The are too into their “own-world” and so oblivious to others around them.

Me and a colleague of mine was travelling in the monorail last night when we come across this really young couple. I’d say they’re in their late teens or 2o’s wanna-be.  They can’t wait to be “matured“.

They were basically glued to each other. Some gave them the stares. But, they didn’t care.

I just hope the Monorail management could do something. Saman them maybe. Put up some “Dilarang berkelakuan sumbang di dalam tren” or something along the line.

what say you?

or are you one of “them” …, spare us the eye-torture.

behave, would you?

more on malaysians and senior citizens …

 

  1. Comment by rZa on May 11, 2007 10:17 pm 10:17 pmwell, n4zry, dats m’sian lah! yeah…i experience once, when i was heavily pregger with my 3rd bebe. dah lah sarat mengandung, naik lah mak buyung nih ke monorail after ois hour. wa ckp sama lu, takde sekor pun nak offer tau! baik yg pakai tudung sampai la yg dah beso pjg. eeeeei! rasa nak sepak je sekor2. tak lah aku ni menghrpkan sgt kan, tp saje nak tgk izzit m’sian s wat we r labelled s courteoud ppl dan berbudi bahasa. HAMPEH!
  2. Comment by MaMa Bitch on May 21, 2007 2:48 pm 2:48 pmHI guys / gals!Been some time since I last wrote anything…last was about the “more senior” lady getting on the train, which the Queen B kindly relayed. I’d just like to add on to that.
    Just yesterday I went shopping. I got in line waiting for my turn to pay while the cashier finished with the girl infornt of me. Then suddenly comes this lady, I’d say in her mid 50s going on 60, asking about a bunch of hangers she’d like to purchase. So, obviously the cashier answered her query. Tup-tup he took the money from her and did the payment transaction!!! I of course HOT lah! I said, “Dik! Bukan I turn I dulu ke? I kan beratur dulu?” while i was staring at the old lady. All I got was a “Oh!” Like he was blind & didnt see me standing there for the last 5 minutes waiting to pay with my membership card in hand!!!! What the F**K! The old geizer just buat dunno aje lah! I was even staring at her while she was paying & walking away. I dont want to sound rude…BUT WAHT IS IT WITH HER GENERATION! Its as if they were never taught any etiquette! You dont really need to be taught lah…sendiri pikir lah kan. I knew I should have told her to get in line but I just couldnt bring myself to say that to an elder…And dont get me started on the cashier…ooops..STUPID CASHIER. He cld have asked her to line up kan? My goodness!!!! That’s IT. I’m not going to be nice ANYMORE! The next time the occassion arises, I’m going to have my say! Just coz you’re older than us doesnt mean you can do whatever you like. Betul tak? I mean if you were feable & decrepide then itu lain ceritalah. & the cashier is not going to get a vote from me thats for sure. What I intend to do is write a complaint on their survey card next time. I know its not a big deal, but when push comes to shove…all hope is gonelah! I am soooooo going to teach my kids how to be respective of the older generation BUT YET NOT to get stepped on by them. Sigh!

Some of my fav quotes…

  • “A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.”

  • “Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done.”

  • “I’m tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

  • “When I’m hungry, I eat. When I’m thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it.”

Lagi lagi LRT story…

yeah man! give them the finger salute!

 

Middle Finger Salute

 

Crown ~Queen Bitch~

Comment by n4zry on May 8, 2007 6:14 pm 6:14 pm

yo bebe! u know what, my gf once faint inside the putra lrt train and everyone inside just pretending like nothing happened. thats sucks! my gf dah la kecil comel jek kan… and then she just get up and go off the train alone. kesian lah.. the sad thing is, the people inside.. mcm bangang jek! and another stories when we were inside the monorail… it was during peak hours, its raining like hell and KL is flooding haha so everyone is like rushing back home lah kan.. dlm train mcm sardin lah, everyone is talking so u know..bingit la..the train reaches imbi station and there was a group of gurls wearing “tudung” ( nmpk mcm baik la kan) pushing each other while nak masuk train.. i was like ” hey, bagi la org keluar dulu kan..” then they pushed me and my gf..masa tu i can’t stand it anymore..suddenly i shouted at them ” HOI, DAH LAH TAK BAGI ORG KELUAR DULU! PEHTU MAIN TOLAK2 PULAK! KORANG NI BODOH KE BANGANG?! JGN LA JADI MELAYU YANG BODOH TAK HABIS2!!! ” suddenly after that the train becomes silent like nobody inside..hahahaha puas hati aku..now i seldomly use the train coz i prefer to drive la kan..sakit kepala la tgk org utan naik train hahaha